explain why break ups happen

Tuesday, 13 January 2015
| 07:26 | No Comments

The Mystery Behind Breakups


Reason Behind Break-up's
The speciality that bonds a water bubble is its beautiful sphere created and the very sad thing about the same is its very small lifetime. '' Beautiful for a second and Bursting out to nothing " The hero and heroine of this Love story are my intimate friends and we were part of the same city. We study in three different colleges of the city. We used to meet at the 'grill n chill' restaurant once or twice a month. Relational maintenance is done airways, so called social media.

They were friends when I met her the first time at a parlour. They were good friends from a nearby locality and I joined them with smiles and words. I was there as a viewer from the beginning of this usual love story.

I personally doesn't like them getting tagged to another relation because I know that can separate me from the circle anyway.  You know.... ...     some sort of.... ... ..       a piece of envy ..... ...     or something likewise............ ..... .. .

Aryan is a Romeo type, stylish guy who like to ride his bike, party every time or flirting with someone, such a boy who spends time for roaming with friends and chatting with girls every time. She too was such a kind who likes long rides, parties, friends, shopping's etc. so to get attracted to him was not been a big magical thing. She proposed him in front of me and he was already in love with her to accept her request. And that relation of being lovers continued beautifully but boring through airways communication. I was the intermediate in solving there problems while they quarrel for nothing. After six months of their friendship + love season, she shifted to a rented house with her friends, where she got much freedom than being a paying guest. It should be considered as the second stage of modern love. They understood more and more about each other. They are practically finding each others interest with the good and bad in them. They started to go for trips and parties making each other happy and sharing wonderfully than ever. After a part of such life, enjoying more than five months, they took the decision of living together in the same apartment. And it was absolutely fine for them to live likewise.

By the time, he lost his friends because of his run for love. Chatting the major part of time with her, lost his interest in everything and made his friends feel bad about him. He started feeling lonely at the room where her absence and mates silence disturbed him a lot. This also made him conclude to the decision about changing the habitat.

Finally they started living together as like man and wife. They were happier than ever.

                     In the platform of happiness they gave me a treat at their new apartment letting myself to enjoy with them. I remember that day we drunk a lot to sleep. In the midst of all those happy moments, I even sang a song praising them a better married life after.

The life started for them, and after two wonderful weeks she gave me a call saying he is not doing anything and he is a lazy dumb . That repeated after two three days calling me with some more negative comments regarding him. Calling me for the same became a frequent thing in a month. I got irritated and warned her not to call me again regarding these silly things.
After some days I visited their apartment, and find him going college daily apart from the usual serial bunker phase. That night I had a beer with him and was talking about her faults like shouting every second, restricting everything etc... The situation for him was worse than ever because he should find the money for major part of rent and shopping. He can't restrict himself from flirting with girls and she can't accept that. She wanted him to stay asleep, while she work on her studies overnight. Funny thing is that he likes spending time sleeping. After another month it was hard for me to believe that they finished it with the tag 'The End' separating themselves to strangers.

                          Isn't we witness true love??  Do you believe true love never break up ??
This story left me some questions and definitions that made me let find its answers.
What actually is love and thus formed relations, friends, lovers and helpers is one among them.
I understood love is something that lies in performing an action we don't want to, but dedicating the same for someone we care. The best example is the mom who creates the next generation beautiful. She is the one who patiently work for her son or daughter even if they say 'I hate you'. The love that will not accept break up from both sides.

So is giving out our pride, selfishness, anger etc. for the one we care will teach us the true love. It sometimes will not give best friends in life, but surely true friends. Even they can provide true love and great relations which can make us never feel lonely.

Another interesting fact I found is the major reason for breakups. It is simple but unacceptable.
Loving couples will not agree if I say 'knowing each other more than required' as the cause of breakups. Every human being is attracted to the other because of the interest within oneself to know the other. If you understood what is the best and worst about someone; interest dies. It is too simple so that I can explain it another way.

Imagine you got a big metal box while digging some corner of your land. And you will be dying to open it and to discover what is hidden inside. If the oracle is saying you should open it after two weeks, you will be thinking about the box every time and will take care of the box giving it a good and secure place to rest. After two weeks you are opening the box and finds nothing valuable inside it. Your interest dies along with its position as a great thing. It becomes a waste box and normal one as like the other boxes at home.

The truth is, we’re all fascinated by the mysterious and forbidden. It’s like it’s programmed into our very nature. Same is the thing about your partner. In the beginning he/she feels like the unrevealed box and that provides him/her a great position in life. Believes he/she can change my life. After some months of real life experiences and realization, we will realize there is nothing unknown about him/her and he/she becomes a normal box and finally find these usual  things getting bored. Finally the bored mind itself creates bad comments, problems etc. about their partner for nothing but for time pass.

It is better to conclude with an advice that can hold the relations. It is also simple. One should protect the space of their partner, keep believing he/she is something more than what I know. Show some formality of gentleness among yourself. And the box will surely live a lifetime as precious as it is considered.

Wishing you a best year ahead. Surprises are awaiting you with a better fortune. Don't rush to open it fast. If you believe and stay calm for the right time it will surely bring you surprises.



Saturday, 15 November 2014
| 10:33 | No Comments

Women of Indian society

I think one of my friend from my village and his story suits the opening. He studied nursing as because it was the trend of that time. But when he finished his studies situation changed a lot. He was a normal village boy and had a younger brother. He always had a sexual starvation with an enthusiastic eye on every girl he saw. I think the social status and the formalities he practiced made him silent while he experienced such lust. After spending lot of money in the foreign agency, his dad arranged him a visa and a job that flooded him to UK. He got job and an apartment where he can share it with three other female mates. He felt it so shy to face them every time and two of them were attractive enough to kill his mode of control. He avoided situations where they initiated for some long conversations. He wanted to come back home so because he can't adjust with that situations. After half a month he suddenly became ill and needed to have rest for two days. At that time they took leave and served him with alacrity, arranged his leave formalities at hospital and made him speak. At first he felt shy and had thinking like 'these ladies are going to take advantage of me'. He acquiesced and started talking with them, interactive conversations took place. Slowly he realized, he is changing dramatically. His concept on looking at women changed in a way that he never felt them sexually attracted after. He enjoyed their friendship their care and their love. When he came back to our village, we saw a different man of self quality. He says the reason for his change in looking at women with his story. In the past, if he would have existed like the way he was his sexual starvation would have directed him to rape.

I think the major and basic reason for rape is the gender discrimination exists in our society. Lack of female love turns to ignorance and the desire for experimenting. Humans from the very beginning showed their immense pleasure in finding something that they were unknown about. In magic shows every audience looks for the secret behind the trick other than getting amazed.
Women of our society are kept secret by our own cultural rules and judicial laws. Sigmund Freud known as the father of psychoanalysis, stated the core reason behind most of the psychic disorders as sexual starvation. We separate our children based on their gender, we never let them have a healthy relation with their opposite sex. Later they becomes over enthusiastic about their opposite sex ie. his/her body. They try to abuse them by touching and groping them in public transports, schools and at home.

In India women are treated as women and men are treated as men other than considering both gender as humans creating gender polarity. Our movies, social acts, serials, screenplays etc. affect our mental status in describing women of our society. Some social art forms describes women superior and other describes them as backward. Reservation for women in public buses, government offices, schools etc. also makes it worse. So because of that  many adults pass half their life not interacting with the opposite gender. It is the sexually perverted or sexually starved mind set of Indians which leads to pathetic situations.

Initially, I think we should teach our children how to live in manners, not to act.

Cultural exchange

The Vedic period can be called the "Golden Age" because this period women enjoyed high status. Ancient women were educated in the early Vedic period. Rig Vedic verses suggest that the women married at a mature age and were probably free to select their husband scriptures such as Rig Veda and Upanishads mention several women sages. Women began to decline with the Smritis and with the Islamic invasion of Babur and the Mughal Empire and later Christianity curtailing women's freedom and rights although reformatory movements such as Jainism allowed women to be admitted to the religious order by and large, the women in India faced confinement and restrictions. The practice of child marriages is believed to have started from around sixth century. People from west not only stole our resources but also a good part of our great culture.

If there is no concept named virginity in our society, what all things will be rewritten ?

Hanne Blank says, "virginity reflects no known biological imperative and grants no demonstrable evolutionary advantage."

Concept of Virginity actually makes a good girl and a bad girl in our society. If she isn't virgin, this concept opens two options; either to die or to live ashamed in the society. If she is raped to spoiled virginity, then she is considered as a bad girl neglecting her justice and society of male superiority suppress such cases encouraging rapist to do another. After committing crimes some people say ' her way of dressings provoked me'. Think wisely, whether this statement from the platform of a dreadful crime can erase or protect him from being punished. She not only loose her virginity but also life in Indian society.

Love is the medicine

A change in mindset of society can save both, life of that girl and a rapist from his bad behavior. A rapist is surely born from a place where he is subjected to absence of female love. Basic reason for sexual assaults, rape and prostitution are the indirect result of gender polarity in all parts of India. It is the right time to change our customs and culture providing equal freedom to both men and women. Respect for women needs to be preached and practiced.
The reason for these type of heinous acts are repressed mentality due to lack of sex education, spreading of porn and disgusting sexual videos.

Let freedom for individual rights and expressions may change Indian society back to our golden age of great culture.